The Healing Listener

As humans we have an innate need to feel heard and to be seen. It provides a sense of safety – without which, deeper experiences of intimacy are not possible.

When we provide the service of truly being fully present with another, and listening wholeheartedly to what they have to say, we create a space in which healing can take place.

So many of our wounds and traumas come from the experience of disconnection – not feeling seen or heard, which can lead to not having our needs met. Sometimes these experiences are paired with violence, abandonment, suppression, or any number of things that cause us to feel alone.

When we truly listen to another, we are showing up for them in that moment as an ally. We become the presence that is there for them, and there with them. We are letting them know, you are not alone. This can be a very healing experience.

When we speak, we bring forth what is within us to those who are around us. It is an invitation to enter one’s world, become a witness to one’s journey, and become a part of it.

When we are sharing from a place of honesty, especially when speaking about difficult truths, we open into a space of vulnerability. Engaging in deep and honest sharing and listening creates emotional bonds. Which are necessary for developing meaningful relationships.

We seek in our friendships, loverships, and with our families the giving and receiving of acceptance, of ourselves and of our deepest truths. These are the kinds of relationships we cherish. These are the relationships that nurture us, and help us to grow so that we may evolve to be the best version of ourselves.

At Interfusion we seek to create spaces where these kinds of exchanges of giving and receiving can be cultivated. Where deep sharing and listening are part of the culture we create. And where practices of acceptance, kindness, and generosity become embedded as integral parts of our community, through how we treat one another and ourselves.

In the spirit of this intention, we are proud to present the launching of Conscious Conversations as a new stream of workshops at Evolution 2020; and Candlelight Conversations as a night time gathering space alongside our beautiful dance parties.

Be sure to check the schedule for more information on these new elements!

Let us share in meaningful conversations, to help us to evolve together to deeper insights about ourselves and one another.

Until then, below are some helpful tips if you are someone who strives to be a healing listener. We hope that these may serve you in creating more safe spaces for conscious conversation and deep sharing in your own life.

5 Tips on how to be a healing listener

1. Listen with your whole body, give the person who is speaking your entire attention. Make eye contact, face your body toward the speaker, don’t cross your limbs. Do not look at your phone, or give your attention to any distractions around you.

2. Listen to empathize, not to respond. When someone is talking, it’s sometimes tempting to become fixated on what you’re going to say next instead of just listening. It’s not about you, release your ego, learn to listen without an agenda.

3. If you have a difference of opinion, make sure that you reflect back to them in your own words what you heard them say before you interject your thoughts on the topic.

Try something like this “So what I heard you say is (reiterate what they have shared with you), is this right?” If they say yes, then share your thoughts: “Ok, I understand what you’re saying, and I also think (insert your thoughts on the subject)”.

It’s important that each person feels heard, before being faced with an opposing view. Or else, you may just end up going around and around in circles, with each person just re-iterating and repeating what they’ve already said, which may lead to frustration, exasperation, or even an argument.

*Hint people tend to repeat themselves when they don’t feel heard.

4. Be careful not to assume or project your experiences onto another person’s share.

5. Don’t try and solve their problems unless they specifically ask you for your help in this way. Sometimes people just need to be heard, and that’s often all they want – i.e. they don’t want you to try and tell them what they should or shouldn’t do with their issue. They just want you to be there, with them.

Happy listening everyone!

Sun a.k.a Phoenix